Epic FAIL!!!

I ruined another car today, which makes 4 autos I've been involved with that have suffered serious damage since I've gotten here... As a quick recap, we had the Opel Corsa that I took off roading for some under body damage. Das Smart einz which lost the back window. Das Smart zwei which lost 5th gear. Now this... unfortunately I didn't have my camera, nor would I have been allowed to take a picture, but the bunny gang would have had a great time with a photo of me standing in front of the car giving the Livonia Brown Rockstar Approval. (Look... a picture of when I had meat on my bones!)

Good news: it wasn't my Smart that was damaged...

Bad news: it was so new that it was in that gray area between leaving the factory and being on a showroom floor.

Ever seen that Carfax commercial about the flooded out car where they originally have major water damage then write new upholstery? I was in charge of retrofitting a vehicle for a water test today...

Lets back up just a second before everyone thinks too poorly of me. Yesterday, all pissed off about not climbing, I went on walkabout around town scavenging for food. In my wandering I found one of the emergency pharmacies that was open on Sunday. Seeing as my cold meds ran out Saturday and I didn't sleep at all due to a racking dry cough that only occurs when I'm ready for bed, I stopped in. Great fun ensued as the pharmacist spoke broken English and I spoke broken German. But after a short dialogue with grunts and a brief argument about 3x2 not equalling 9, but 6, (I won and it wasn't my pronunciation that caused it) I walked out with some sinus stuff and cough suppressant candy. This morning I woke up, actually sleeping through most of the night, very groggy. I spent all day with everything moving in slow motion and my muscles twitching. Feeling like they needed to be stretched, but when I stretched they ached and didn't feel any better. I still kind of do feel like that, but whatever back to the story of the fourth damaged car...

I retrofit this vehicle, put everything back together, and give it a cursory once over. I submit the car to a guy I can't talk to since he doesn't speak English for a water test. This test being a 20 minute simulation of the worst possible deluge of rain a car can be expected to withstand. The idea was that I opened up about a 1" diameter hole in the panel that protects the wet side of the door from the dry side. This hole being internal to the door in between the outer sheet metal skin and the plastic trim panel that you see from inside. Should there be water leakage into the interior the test is a fail. I leave as the test begins to grab a quick bite then head back to the test station. The guy gets in the car and yells... he comes back with a foam pad to put on the seat since it is wet. Mildly confused as to how water could get on the driver seat I guess the test is a failure. After he pulls the car out of the booth we notice about an inch of standing water on the floor in the rear. He finally notices that both rear windows are open a crack... hence the Epic FAIL!

What could I do but laugh... then there's some discussion in German... discussion about how the car is no longer saleable... discussion about how the interior needs to be replaced... then the thoughts of who's paying for this one come to mind. But fear not constant reader, for I luckily work in an industry where the destruction of a car results in a few jokes and a conciliatory pat on the shoulder. After shop vacking out the standing water and removing all of the seats and carpeting, a quick phone call was made and new parts were delivered to replace the wet ones. After a large es tut mir leid, a handshake, and an awkward silence since there really was nothing else that could be said, I slinked back to my desk. So now my shame is contained to the test guy, the foreman, and now all of you.

If anyone's interested in magic cough drops I will bring some back and sell them at a small premium... tell your friends!