Follow the yellow brick road...

to the jolly land of Oslo... wait that was Oz...



In retrospect I blew it with this one. I thought I was doing very well with a €60 plane ticket (including the €10 tax I had to pay for not being an EU citizen). I flew Ryanair which is a very nice low cost airline here in Europe. Actually it's one of the few airlines that is still doing well considering the cost of Oil. I had to fly out of Frankfurt Hahn which is a 2 hour drive from Cologne. That got me to Oslo Torp, which is another 2 hour drive to the city proper. Including the terrible traffic going home last night I averaged about 7.5 hours in transit door to door, one way. Add the €110 for the bus, diesel, parking, and it's not such a great deal after all. The final numbers look like this was the most expensive trip I've taken this whole time. I'd heard Oslo was the most expensive city in the world, and now I can confirm that.
Friday, Tommy met me at the bus station where we immediately headed for dinner. I haven't seen Tommy in many years, but we go way back. We stopped at a quaint restaurant for dinner, then stopped for some tea, and finished off with coffee at a jazz bar that, unfortunately, didn't have a live band that night. The nice thing was that although service was slow, the waitstaff hearing we spoke English, immediately spoke English. In Germany you usually have to ask them to speak English. It was good catching up and other than a few new stories we spent most of our conversations reminiscing about the old days. Actually, outside of some minor lifestyle changes, it was really like the old days staying up late chatting.
Saturday we left relatively early, relatively being that as I'm still feeling a bit under the weather, I wanted to sleep in. As much as sleeping in was possible on a thin blanket on a hardwood floor. We went on a city tour where I saw the castle and their guards. I wanted to mess with the guard like a London one... but he was moving, talking, and carrying a bayonet... so I settled with a picture instead. After that we wandered into the shopping district where I we found the Hard Rock Oslo (I found the one in Rome too). Not being one for souvenirs too much, I passed (again) on picking anything up there. Plus why would I want Hard Rock swag in foreign countries? We hit the harbor where there are quite a few random sculptures and some cool architecture. Then we went to the opera house to get a higher vantage point. Not quite satisfied, Tommy had a better idea, to take me up the mountain side for a better view of the city.
At the top there was an OK view of the city, but nothing special. It was mostly blocked by trees and shrubberies. Met a guy... named Roger... Roger the shrubber. There was a ski resort with quite a few lifts that had some nice views of the surrounding countryside. I would like to go back just for some skiing, but the swiss alps would probably be better. In the end, we went back down to town, where Tommy went to sleep and I went back on walkabout. I found the park that Tommy wanted to show me. He said there were quite a few statues in the park and it was quite famous. I hadn't done any research on Oslo assuming Tommy would be an adept guide and was surprised by the park. The sculptures were quite... uh... interesting, in a pornographic sort of way.
This line of thought of course makes a nice segue into the night club Tommy had selected. The one that I had to wear a kilt to get in. The club was quite... uh... interesting, in a pornographic sort of way. My outfit (after removing my shirt at the behest of a couple of ladies) was very mild. I saw some things that were very nice, some things I wish I could un-see, and of course some things that you don't want to look at, but really can't take your eyes off of. We definitely met some interesting people and in the end, although I'll never go back to a place like that, I have a new experience to add to, and cross off of, the bucket list.

Sunday was basically a wash from transit time back to Cologne, but Tommy and I got lunch and said our farewells at the bus station. I also picked up a new Stephen King novel at the airport which is quite the page turner. Final thoughts on Oslo are thus:

• Norwegians are far nicer than Germans
• Norwegians do NOT like Germans (as I found out when I accidentally answered a question in Deutsch... they're still upset about the Nazis apparently)
• Oslo is a boring city architecturally (I prefer the gothic buildings etc of central Europe)
• A kilt is nice, just not publicly acceptable outside of Scotland
• Oslo is far too expensive to ever live in